Its funny how things have a way of propagating. Its funny how one little thought, one little hunch really does carry over and become the actual situation.

Damn, I guess I fail.

I'm so hungry right now. I think this is why sleep isn't coming. Its probably also the coffee. And everything else that's happened this past weekend.

I figure I could go on like this. I guess its not a bad thing. But I know changes have to be made. And I need to figure out whether this is all worth it. I'm really not sure. I'm not sure whether I had it in me or whether this has been another half-assed effort. I'd like to think I put everything I had into this, but I know that's not true.

I didn't play up to my potential. I didn't sell out and completely throw myself out there. Consider this a lesson learned then. Consider this something that won't be happening again. Consider this something that's been happening repeatedly over the past couple years. The inability to pull the trigger and make the decisions I need to make.

I guess I just pull the trigger too late. And that's my problem. Its not the inability to choose, but the inability to make a decision in time.

Its all about timing I suppose. As I've been saying for the past couple months. And this time around, I guess its true.

Sleep hasn't come yet. I'm not sure when it will grab me. Something just feels off. Something's just not right.

I'm not sure what it is. I sit here and I have to wonder whether I've made the right choices.

But then again, my worst choice in the past day seems to be the coffee I drank earlier tonight.

So I have nothing to regret.

You figure everything you do is significant. That anything you do could have a significant impact on something. And I guess in a way, it is.

But then you read the news and you realize that feeling of significance is only magnified to you because you and the ones around you are the only ones who are actually experiencing it.

Life is a web. That web means that in some way, some how, you are connected to everyone. And so if you affect someone else in some way, that affect could have global changing effects.

If that's the case, anything you do can potentially affect the world.

So in your own small way, you're significant I guess. Someone died on an island tonight. And though I won't know the significance of that person's death immediately, at some point, I will meet someone who has been affected by that death. And that person's mood, feelings, and actions will affect me.

Its not direct causation. I'm barely being philosophical.