Its funny how things have a way of propagating. Its funny how one little thought, one little hunch really does carry over and become the actual situation.

Damn, I guess I fail.

I'm so hungry right now. I think this is why sleep isn't coming. Its probably also the coffee. And everything else that's happened this past weekend.

I figure I could go on like this. I guess its not a bad thing. But I know changes have to be made. And I need to figure out whether this is all worth it. I'm really not sure. I'm not sure whether I had it in me or whether this has been another half-assed effort. I'd like to think I put everything I had into this, but I know that's not true.

I didn't play up to my potential. I didn't sell out and completely throw myself out there. Consider this a lesson learned then. Consider this something that won't be happening again. Consider this something that's been happening repeatedly over the past couple years. The inability to pull the trigger and make the decisions I need to make.

I guess I just pull the trigger too late. And that's my problem. Its not the inability to choose, but the inability to make a decision in time.

Its all about timing I suppose. As I've been saying for the past couple months. And this time around, I guess its true.

Sleep hasn't come yet. I'm not sure when it will grab me. Something just feels off. Something's just not right.

I'm not sure what it is. I sit here and I have to wonder whether I've made the right choices.

But then again, my worst choice in the past day seems to be the coffee I drank earlier tonight.

So I have nothing to regret.

You figure everything you do is significant. That anything you do could have a significant impact on something. And I guess in a way, it is.

But then you read the news and you realize that feeling of significance is only magnified to you because you and the ones around you are the only ones who are actually experiencing it.

Life is a web. That web means that in some way, some how, you are connected to everyone. And so if you affect someone else in some way, that affect could have global changing effects.

If that's the case, anything you do can potentially affect the world.

So in your own small way, you're significant I guess. Someone died on an island tonight. And though I won't know the significance of that person's death immediately, at some point, I will meet someone who has been affected by that death. And that person's mood, feelings, and actions will affect me.

Its not direct causation. I'm barely being philosophical.

Well then...

Rabid Consumerism and the Social Divice

This is the first of many posts about zombies. After reading World War Z this past weekend, I've been blessed with hours upon hours of thinking about dreary chthonic situations where I would be forced to survive a zombie apocalypse.

Despite the impossibility of this ever happening in the real world, the commentary provided by this and other zombie related novels

Edited: 10/5/09

Totally lost my train of thought at some point that night and I didn't finish my thoughts. God job 08 Jinuk, you fail at completing your thoughts.

I wish I could swear like a sailor

Brilliantly, I've decided to tell everyone that I've been in a surprisingly good mood for the past month and a half. Aside from being fucking delusional, I figure its a great way to not have to talk about what troubles and shit like that.

Fuck it, this isn't going to be another whine/cry/everything and nothing type of blogs. I can save that shit for my own leather bound journal. Instead, taking cues from others, I supposes this blog could be used to promote myself.

I'm so full of myself. Anyway, getting to the topic at hand, I wish I would have developed the verbal knowhow to string together words in such a way that even the hardiest pirate would blush at the mere sound of my voice. Combing through the darkest corners of the English language, I would be able to string together insults and phrases Tarantino wished he thought up. The dark side of the English language would become a weapon I could wave around and use whenever necessary.

I don't know. At least from here, it seems like it would be awesome

Abuse

This is the type of abuse I have to deal with every day:

Jane: what do ut hink?
Jane: dont u love myr esume
Jane: ^^
Me: i learned so much more about you
Jane: HAHAHAHA
Me: delusions of gradneur mostly
Jane: ...
Jane: i have to add this to my blog
Me: ?
Me: oh please fix my spelling
Jane: ure so annoying
[miscellaneous conversation]
Jane: what do u think?!
Me: ...
Jane: i DEMAND